"The author describes the moment-to-moment decisions a therapist is called upon to make from the first moment of the first session. I know of no better first book for beginning students wanting to know how to do couple therapy and for experienced therapists seeking new ideas. Opening this book, you feel the presence of a master therapist who has drawn from the wisdom of the field and passed it through the filter of her decades of experience, finely tuned intelligence, and deep humanity. I kept thinking, 'Yes, that?s exactly what happens in a session--and, hey, Ellen Wachtel has come up with a great way to deal with it.'"--Daniel B. Wile, PhD, private practice, Oakland, California

"All couple therapists will benefit immensely from diving into this engaging, highly readable book. With honesty and depth, Wachtel offers thoughtful insights and suggestions to help therapists navigate everyday dilemmas. She guides the reader through such essentials as approaching the first meeting, transitioning to the second session, conducting a genogram, and working through core underlying relational issues. Reading this book encouraged me to deeply reflect on my own practice. It is one of those books that I will keep on my shelf for reference when I next get stuck or hit an impasse with clients."--Rhonda Goldman, PhD, Illinois School of Professional Psychology, Argosy University, Schaumburg

"An invaluable comprehensive guide to doing couple work, from a talented, seasoned therapist. Wachtel doesn't miss any of the conundrums of couple therapy. She eschews pathologizing, instead fostering possibilities. This book is a 'must' for all couple therapists. Reading it is like having an excellent supervisor by your side."--Marcia Sheinberg, LCSW, Director of Training and Clinical Services, Ackerman Institute for the Family

"A marvelous book, filled with clinical wisdom. Wachtel shares with the reader her integrative approach that illuminates the essence of couple therapy. She offers couple therapists and students practical insights and direction about the critical choice points involved in this form of therapy. Rich with instructive clinical vignettes, this book should be on the required reading list for every couple therapy course, and part of every couple therapist?s library."--Jay L. Lebow, PhD, ABPP, LMFT, Senior Scholar and Clinical Professor, The Family Institute at Northwestern University

"The work described in this book is largely rooted in the same set of underlying principles that provide the foundation for good therapeutic work of all sorts. And as Ellen demonstrates so amply, these principles can be taught?.Good couple therapy is not achieved by following the right manual but by establishing the right relationship and by proceeding in a way that builds upon the basic processes of change that have been shown in countless studies...to be the foundations of change in the way people act, feel, and perceive themselves and others. By building skillfully upon those processes and principles, the therapist...can enhance her effectiveness as a clinician."--from the Epilogue by Paul L. Wachtel, PhD

Grounded in a deep understanding of what makes intimate relationships succeed, this book provides concrete guidelines for addressing the complexities of real-world clinical practice with couples. Leading couple therapist Ellen Wachtel describes the principles of therapeutic intervention that motivate couples to alter entrenched patterns, build on strengths, and navigate the "legacy" issues that each person brings to the relationship. She illuminates the often unrecognized choices that therapists face throughout the session and deftly explicates their implications. The epilogue by Paul Wachtel situates the author's pragmatic approach in the broader context of contemporary psychotherapy theory and research.